Kooks of the
What is a kook?
( from http://www.ratbags.com/rsoles/comment/whatisakook.htm)
First and foremost, kooks
believe really weird stuff. But simply holding weird beliefs
isn't enough to make someone a kook. It's the tactics they use
to spread their beliefs that separates kooks from the merely
eccentric. Below is a list of common kook distinguishing
characteristics. The average Usenet kook will possess at least
several of these traits. Über Kooks will possess most or all
Kooks make lists of their enemies. Anyone who maintains a list
enemies is almost certainly a kook. Anyone who appears on one
kook enemy lists probably isn't a kook.
B. Kooks are
freaks. Kooks try to moderate the NG and try to force people
talk about certain subjects and/or conduct themselves only in
kooky wannabe moderator sees as the correct manner. Kooks will
complain to the ISPs of other NG posters whose views they
with in an attempt to have them removed from Usenet.
C. Kooks are
Most kooks are big believers in conspiracies large and small.
to think everyone is out to harm them or at least silence them
they alone know the truth, (see d). From the mighty New World
various three letter agencies of the Federal Government to
the NG who disagrees with them, kooks see enemies everywhere
lists of them (see a).
D. Kooks are
right. They have had the absolute "TRUTH" bestowed upon them
by god or
the aliens or by the voices in their heads or whatever. They
utterly convinced that they, and only they, know the "TRUTH."
how many times their beliefs are proven wrong, they continue
to them like grim death and will never, EVER admit to being
E. KOOKS LIKE TO
ALL CAPS. THEY SEE THEIR MESSAGES AS BEING SO IMPORTANT THAT
TO SHOUT THEM OUT. THEY WANT TO MAKE SURE *EVERYONE* NOTICES
HAVE TO SAY.
F. Kooks are
They are obsessed with certain subjects and certain other
users of the
NG, even to the point of stalking them. But above all, they
obsessed with spreading their message and keeping it in
all times on their favorite NGs. Kooks rarely let anyone else
the last word in any discussion that touches even remotely on
G. Kooks will
puppets and use them to attack their enemies and/or post
responses to the kook's own posts (since no one else will).
H. Kooks are
intellectual debate. Kooks believe they are in possession of
absolute TRUTH on a given subject or subjects and they are
share that truth, not debate it. Since kooks are always right
never ever admit to being wrong (see d), they refuse to debate
beliefs and tolerate no skepticism toward them. To a kook,
disagrees with them MUST be either ignorant, insane or a paid
disinformation agent out to discredit them (see c).
I. Kooks don't
sense of humor, especially in regards to the subjects they are
with. They are always deadly serious about their pet issues
berate other NG users for not taking them seriously enough.
perpetual straight men. Their lack of humor is ironically one
kook's most amusing characteristics.
J. Kooks lie.
about their backgrounds, their qualifications, their
their level of education, their experiences, etc., etc. Kooks
message as being so important that they are willing to do
takes (especially lying) to get that message out and make it
it came from a credible source, rather than from a mere kooky
who can be safely ignored. Kooks however aren't generally
to lie well or be consistent in their lying, so they are
and their lies are often exposed. However, even when presented
absolute proof of lying, a true kook will never admit to it
(see 4) and
usually either ignore the evidence or claim it was
manufactured by some
"conspiracy" that is out to discredit them (see c).
K. Kooks tend to
hypocrites. For example, they will rage against others for
topic material but still do it themselves regularly, and they
great offense when someone else points out that they are off
When this is pointed out, they will go to great lengths to try
justify *their* off topic posts as being so important that
considerations are irrelevant. Another example of kook
name calling. A kook will rage against others for name calling
completely oblivious to their own continual name calling and
attacks on others. Kooks tend to live by the motto of "Do as I
as I do."
don't play well with others. Since kooks are paranoid,
they are right on every issue, tolerate no skepticism or
views and always want to be the one in control, kooks just
along with other people, not even other kooks. Every kook is
unto itself of strange beliefs and weird psychoses. Kooks
lonely people, and it shows.
In other words, a usenet Kook is a mentally unstable idiot
with stalker like traits.
My (current) favorite Kooks are:
How to deal with a kook
- reciting the littany against kooks.
must not fear.
are the thread-killer.
are the little-death that brings total obliteration to
will face my kook and laugh in its face.
will permit it to pass into the kill
file and into /dev/null.
when it has gone into the bitbucket, I will plonk
the kook has gone there will be nothing left but
I will remain.
Drop an email:
report-a-kook at somebastard.net